PharmaVet's Blog

PhRMA Code Part Deux (or PhRMA's Economic Stimulus Plan For Recession-Proofing The U.S. Retail Office Supply Sector)

07/16/2008

Lunch and Lunacy

06/25/2008

You on Paper -- Resumes, Cover Letters, and Thank-you Letters

05/05/2008

No, Henny Penny, The Sky Isn't Really Falling

03/20/2008

How To Make The Management Field Ride Work For You

08/29/2007

How Corporate Credit Cards Work

12/15/2006

Holiday Gifts for the Boss -- Yes or No?

12/09/2006

The First Cut Is The Deepest

12/04/2006

Your Image Matters: Appropriate Attire For Women in Pharmaceutical Sales

11/26/2006

Things To Do In Anticipation of Entering The Pharmaceutical Industry

11/14/2006

The biggest change brought about by PhRMA Code - The Sequel is that companies voluntarily complying with the Code will no longer supply pens, note pads, coffee mugs, or other reminder items of nominal value that benefit the doctor or the practice but do not directly benefit the patient. My initial reaction after hearing this was a yawn, but then I realized that this New! Improved! PhRMA Code will have a significant impact on the U.S. economy. This might be just the thing to pull the our nation out of its financial doldrums AND stop the accusations that the pharmaceutical industry has undue influence on prescribers, all at the same time. Bonus!

In the interest of transparency and full disclosure, let me first disclose my financial ties to PhRMA and to the retail office supply sector of the U.S. economy. I have none. Let me also establish that I am not an economist. I think I would like to be a pundit, though. I must remember to add that to my resume.

Back to the impact on the U.S. economy and its retail office supply sector. I envision the CEOs of Staples and the Offices -- Max and Depot -- excitedly clinking glasses over the announcement that, effective January 2009, there will be an estimated eleventy-jillion medical offices, hospitals, and pharmacies rushing to purchase sticky notes, scratch pads, pens, clipboards, and other assorted office supplies that are no longer provided free of charge by pharmaceutical companies. Think of the boost to the retail office supply sector. Granted, these eleventy-jillion medical facilities will have to settle for ordinary sticky notes -- rectangular, maybe square, perhaps with lines -- without whimsical background illustrations of happy kidneys and such. They will have to get used to Bic Stic pens, or perhaps my personal favorite, the Pilot G2 retractable gel ink pen, if they are willing to lay down the bigger bucks. I am hoping that my shout-out to Pilot for their excellent G2 pen might get me a lifetime supply of them courtesy of Pilot (mostly black, please, and perhaps a few red -- thanks ever so much!). I am not proud. But I digress. So these eleventy-jillion medical facilities will no longer have super-cool pens with a fake antibiotic capsule suspended in liquid and shooting out subliminal marketing messages with every stroke of the pen. If any of you are as old as I am, you might remember the Magic Floating Pen that was once all the rage. I used to have to give those out with a straight face. The Magic Floating Pen was a big round plastic frame that sat on the desk, and the pen would magically float in the middle of the frame WITHOUT TOUCHING THE FRAME! It was magic. Hence the name. It was a promotional item for a prescription diet drug -- the phen of fen-phen -- and I sure hope that my writing about it does not earn me some government scrutiny and a class-action suit for my involvement in the whole fen-phen debacle. But again, I digress. So no more Magic Floating Pens, no more pens that look like a syringe full of something medicinal, no more sticky notes shaped like light bulbs to subliminally remind prescribers that they should write more prescriptions for the overactive bladder treatment that had a marketing campaign in which the bladder was depicted as a light bulb. I cannot imagine why that pharma company went out of business. But I digress.

The new extended-release PhRMA Code ER will have an even more far-reaching effect on commerce. That Pfizer rep who sells Viagra pens on eBay for big bucks? Yes, I am talking about you, teresa7392221. Well, she might be a former Pfizer rep since she got turned in to Pfizer Global Security for selling promotional items for personal gain. But all the other reps who sell large lots of pharmaceutical freebie pens on eBay? Their incomes will certainly be affected now that their supply will dry up. The only things they will be able to sell will be the t-shirts and tote bags they receive at launch meetings. And, of course, the silk Viagra ties and scarves that were a cornerstone of teresa7392221's business. Pharma reps still will not have to buy their own pens and sticky notes -- that is what expense accounts are for -- but some of them will certainly take a significant hit on their off-the-books revenue from selling promotional tchotchkes.

The American public owes PhRMA a big 'Thanks, PhRMA!' Many lives will be impacted in so many important ways with PhRMA Code Part Deux. While the more enterprising -- and crooked -- pharma reps will be cursing PhRMA for taking away their ill-gotten gains, the majority of reps will be happy to free up half their trunk space. This is huge. The U.S. retail office supply sector is giddy with delight at the prospect of increased business. American teens, who are reportedly having just as hard a time finding jobs as everyone else, will see more opportunity to start their careers in the office supply business. Someone is going to have to stock all those office supplies on the shelves. The dry cleaning and Chinese restaurant sectors will not be happy about purchasing their own pens, but someone has to take one for the team. While eleventy-jillion medical facilities will be initially displeased at the prospect of -- gasp! -- actually paying for their own office supplies, I have to believe that they will be mollified by the resulting tax deduction they will gain. And, most importantly of all, the patients. The Patients! No longer will their medical treatment be determined by whichever pharmaceutical company gives out the ultra-premium Super Sticky Post-It Notes. It is a closely guarded industry secret, but there IS a subliminal message in the choice of the Super-Sticky notes vs. the generic sticky notes that do not stick as well -- after all, the more powerful the adhesive, the more powerful the drug. It will be interesting to see the impact that PhRMA Code DS will have on prescribing habits. I, as a pundit, predict that there will be none.